Saturday, March 21, 2009

Fading back to life.

Another week of another bout with flu--this time Philosopher Mom was in bed for three days while Scientist Dad valiantly sacrificed Very Important Experiments with rodents for Very Imporatant Experiments with small children. What a man.

In the process, I violated every last one of my Lenten resolutions. It would be easy to say I was a victim of the circumstances. After all, when you've been in bed for hours and can't sleep, surely you're excused from sacrifice?

But my realization was... I'm not exempt. There is no moment of my life--even when delirious with flu--that I do not need to "return to God with my whole heart." And I noticed that, sadly, there is not a moment in my life when I'm not thinking things could be better or more conducive to holiness. Surely, if I wasn't sick right now, I would be less grumpy. Surely, if I had a few hours to myself, I'd be more patient later on. Surely, if this kid would stop chattering, I'd be able to be a better mother.

But everything, every moment is from God's hand. He's not sitting up in the sky wishing I had it "better" or "easier." He's inviting me now to let his will reign.

Welcome back to Lent, little mom.


Mumsie said...

Bless your heart, my dear.

Humility is a precious fruit, and it seems you have been graced with a new portion of it. Wisdom, too, is a great gift: to see that acceptance is one of our first duties in Christ is some wisdom, indeed.

And (dare I suggest) perhaps the Lenten goals were overly ambitious?

Metanoia is one of the goals. It seems you have found it. May He give you the grace to embrace it!!

I love you!!

Maica Kozak said...

Humility in good measure must be the popular fruit of this Lent, I have my fair share of it as well! What a great Lent; never a dull moment.