It's so strange moving to a new area where we don't know a soul. The only moves we've ever made have been for school--college or graduate work--which offered an automatic group of friends and colleagues. This time, however, it is proving difficult to find "new friends," as Miriam puts it. New friends will come, but only with time and patience.
Still, it feels like home because we are together. Our family suddenly makes up my entire world in a way they haven't before, and that is a grace. The feeling of isolation passes as soon as the Scientist Dad walks in that door, because home is where we are together.
I'm also loving the online community with a new appreciation: Even if we're not physically present to one another, the blogging moms and their readers provide a much-needed witness that we are not alone.
So, to all the bloggers of beauty out there: Keep writing. These are the days when I appreciate the online community we have more than ever. We need to know we are not alone in the world, and God lets us know this both on and off-line.
8 comments:
We moved a lot when I was growing up. So often that my husband and I have lived in the same area for 25 years! I have thought, though, that it would probably be somewhat easier now with so much technology. My 11 y/o daughter's best friend moved to CA a year ago, but with e-mail, chats, texting... it has not been too bad for the girls. Well, my littlest one has fallen asleep in my arms, and I am typing with one hand... please know that you are in my prayers! +JMJ+
We've lived in our home for more than a year and in some ways I still feel that isolation. It is so hard to make new friends when you are pregnant and exhausted or trying to tend to a needy new baby. And yet like you say our family can become the community we need. Sometimes when I'm throwing myself a pity party it helps to think of the Ingalls family on the prairie. Ma and Pa, Laura and Mary and baby Carrie and no neighbors for miles and miles and miles. It isn't sustainable for a lifetime, no. But for a season or two or three. It won't last forever and my girls won't be stunted for life because they don't have a plethora of friends right now. And I am much luckier than Ma because I do have friends online to support me and encourage me on the hardest days. How on earth did she manage? now when I read those books it boggles my mind. What a strong woman!
I could have wrote your post. My husband just finished graduate school. We moved from Virginia to Wisconsin 2 weeks ago. We lived in Virginia for almost 10 years. As a military brat VA became "home" in a way I've never had before. 3 out of our 4 children were born there. My husband's parents live there. My best friend ... everyone. It's been crushing for me.
I so understand that feeling of isolation. For the first week I threw a giant pity party for myself. Now I am finally getting up the courage and finding new places to go and things to do.
We moved out of the USA 6 months ago, and its been hard to be so far away from family and without friends. But I have realized the same as you, my husband and I make our home wherever we are at, and our marriage is closer than ever.
I'm not sure how that came out as 6 months, it's been 18. :)
E, good luck with settling in! We will be doing the same in a little over a month - off to Burlington VT for J to pursue Pharmacy school (my own Scientist!). It takes a lot of courage to trust God with these things when it's more than just yourself (i.e., little ones, a whole family!), in my opinion. Just wanted to say hi and also that you and your little Ana look so beautiful! Congrats, will keep you guys in prayer.
Lauren from CUA
Melanie, that's so funny how you brought up the Ingalls. Todd and I were just recalling them as we bemoaned our lot! Yes, the pity- party was in full swing this morning until I read all your comments here! God provides for his moaning children.
I went through the same thing, moving from my hometown to Houston 5 years ago. It was quite a shock to say the least, and I felt so lonely. Thanks to MeetUp and my friendly parishioners, I now love it here and wouldn't move back. It did take lots of time, though. Nice to meet you!
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