Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Holding pattern.


We're gearing up for another major move in the next few days--this time from MA to NH for a month. Then it's down south to central CT, where the Scientist Dad has landed a cushy professorship (doesn't that sound grand?). We're hoping and praying that this move is a move toward home.

Meanwhile, the madness of planning, packing, and sorting has descended. The kids are a little discomforted, I'm relapsing into stress-mode, and it's hot. We're in holding pattern, just waiting and counting down the days.

At first, I was just sad. Western MA has got to be one of the most beautiful places I've been blessed to live. I don't want to leave, even for the golden egg of a tenure-track position. Then I was angry: What the heck? Another move? Then mad at myself: And why is this bothering me so much? I chose this life. Suck it up, Momma!

I'm still sad and mad, but starting to feel the anticipation of a new life. The idea of really being able to set down roots somewhere (even in suburban CT) is so appealing. That restless, insatiable desire of the heart for a real home is giving me the strength to keep packing.

In the wee hours, I try to turn that desire and exhaustion to heaven, our final home. It's not that hard to do: it is a common (and possibly universal) human tendency. We long for home.

As we approach the end of the Easter/Pascha season and the great feasts of the Ascension and Pentecost, the whole trajectory of the Christian mystery comes into view. The long, dark Lent and the radical light of the resurrection -- they've all pointed to this moment when the Lord rises into heaven to receive his crown. The fruit of this mystery is hope: And hope does not disappoint.

I haven't seen much of our new home in CT. I have heard good things, but am still stepping into the unknown. Another death: another resurrection. "Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God has prepared for those who love him."

7 comments:

Melanie B said...

Oh moving is hard. And it seems like you were just getting settled in MA. Prayers for you.

Jon and Keri said...

Excellent artwork for your post :) I'll be praying for you all to have a smooth, joyful and peaceful transition.

Jon and Keri said...

We'll be praying for a smooth, joyful and peaceful move/transition! I like the artwork you chose for your post!

Christina said...

Good luck with your move. I have been a fan of your blog for awhile now. I am actually in southeastern CT so I can tell you CT's not the worse place to live - it can be challenging, but it can also be wonderful.

Erika Ahern said...

Thanks, Christina! It's refreshing to hear a good word about CT. :)

Anonymous said...

Erika,

I am a fairly new blog follower who recently came across your blog via Conversion Diary. I wanted you to know that I have found so much wisdom, humor, and guidance here. I am the mother of young daughters, a lover of books, former teacher, and fledgling freelance writer/editor, and when I saw your "What is this?" statement and subsequently read many of your posts, I felt great comfort, especially as my family looks forward to joining the RCC. Your thoughts and reflections have meant a lot to me, both as a woman and convert-in-progress, and I wanted to thank you for unknowingly helping me feel like I'm not alone. Peace to you and your family on your next adventure...

A

Erika Ahern said...

Wow, A, thank you so much. Your encouragement was exactly what I needed to hear on moving day! Have a blessed week and weekend. Welcome home to the Church!